


Love is Enough

by SpringZephyr



Category: THE iDOLM@STER
Genre: Babysitting, Feelings Realization, Off-screen Confessions, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 06:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19739998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpringZephyr/pseuds/SpringZephyr
Summary: It starts with Tsubasa forgetting Kaoru's birthday present at home. Then Kaoru continues inviting himself over.





	Love is Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Gift for IllyaTsubomic, who wanted a KaoTsuba fic about babysitting Tsubasa's younger siblings. I hope I did okay.
> 
> The poem mentioned at the end is "Love" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, who died in like the 1800's, meaning her works are public domain, and omg did trying to find a line of poetry to fill that space remind me of how much I dislike poetry. :(

"You can wait in the car, if you'd like," Tsubasa informed him. "It'll only take a second."

For some reason, Kaoru does not wait in the car.

And Tsubasa has no right to protest, because he's the one who forgot to bring a birthday present in the first place. He bought it, wrapped it, somehow managed to dissuade his younger siblings from opening it themselves – and then when he'd left for the party earlier that evening, he'd set it on the kitchen counter and somehow managed to forget it there in the process of putting on his jacket.

To Tsubasa's relief, it's still sitting where he'd left it, the red paper and shiny gold ribbon still intact.

Kaoru is not the partying type. He only begrudgingly conceded to having one because Teru and Tsubasa handled all of the preparations themselves. When Tsubasa's next birthday comes around, he can't say with certainty that Kaoru will do the same for him – but he doesn't regret the party either, and over time, he's come to learn that Kaoru shows his kindness in other ways regardless.

"Your house has a lot of books," Kaoru mutters to himself, taking in the shelves that line the hallway walls. "The décor is surprisingly tidy."

Tsubasa resists the urge to sigh. It would be a very Kaoru-like thing to do to stall on unwrapping his present because he's embarrassed, but Teru bought him homemade mochi and Pierre gave him tickets to a famous art museum, and there are several other gifts that either cost more or had more thought put into them than Kaoru's besides.

"Also, you're twenty-four and you still live with your parents?"

At this, Tsubasa's gaze breaks away from the counter. "I temporarily moved back in. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No," Kaoru shakes his head, "not at all."

When he finally makes his way over to where Tsubasa is standing, he unwraps his final gift carefully, almost delicately. It's just regular old paper and it's going in the trash immediately afterwards, but Kaoru unties the ribbon and doesn't tear a single centimeter of the paper. At the end, he holds what's left in his hands and regards it studiously.

"A book," he says.  
Tsubasa's heart shoots into his stomach. Kaoru's tone is flat – it's always flat – but after all of the amazing other presents he'd received, Tsubasa was hoping for something a little more than that. Proof, he supposed, that he and Kaoru were half as close as he thought they were.

"Ah, well, a book of poetry, to be exact. I noticed you carry one around sometimes, and – "

Kaoru cuts him off curtly with a "thank you", and Tsubasa supposed that would have been that had his younger sister not descended the stairs for a glass of water at the same time. What could have been a slightly awkward end to the night quickly turns into his younger sister and brother staying up an hour past their bedtime, once they realize Kaoru is a doctor and can easily be roped into playing with them. Surprisingly, Kaoru doesn't appear to hate it.

Even more surprisingly, he comes back the next day, the day after that, and from that point onward, at least once a week.

XxX

It's the sixth or seventh time Kaoru has visited his house, enough that Tsubasa is starting to lose count. Enough that he could make a list of all the unexpected things he's learned about Kaoru lately, which he does, mentally, while waiting for it to be his turn to play Mario Kart again.

First and foremost, since they're already on the subject, is that Kaoru is absolutely terrible at Mario Kart. It's like he's never held a controller prior to this, which is shocking because his hands are so adept at everything else – he's already stitched up two of his little sibling's toys with tidy, efficient stitches that Tsubasa was completely beyond hope of replicating. He can perform card tricks and other sleights of hand like a professional. Even his handwriting is beautiful, in defiance of the old adage about all doctors having terrible penmanship.

Second, Kaoru is surprisingly gentle with children. Tsubasa supposed that shouldn't be as surprising as it is, because he's undoubtedly had to work with children as part of his previous job, but there's a difference between clinical politeness and whatever feeling is bubbling up inside Kaoru to make him laugh like _this_. Freely. He's seen Kaoru smile several times now, but rarely with this lack of reservation, and when he talks about the graphics in games being not nearly this good when he was little, the children laugh and call him _old_.

And Kaoru doesn't seem to mind. In fact, it amuses him almost as much as learning what all of the power ups do.

Kaoru doesn't correct their medical terminology when they play doctor. He helps the kids make puppets out of socks and makes funny voices and refuses to admit his the one voicing them, even though Tsubasa's siblings are too old to believe otherwise. He chastized Tsubasa for not owning an apron once, on the night he'd randomly decided he wanted to make hamburger steaks for everyone –

"Bro, pay attention," his younger brother pouts, a controller in both hands. "Kaoru lost again, so it's your turn."

He takes the controller, still warm from Kaoru's hands, and plays an even worse game than Kaoru did. Without meaning to, Tsubasa continues his list into the late hours of the night.

Long after the kids have gone to bed and Kaoru has returned home, he falls asleep thinking _what a miracle it is, that Kaoru's eyes are such a lovely shade of blue_. He has no memory of this by morning, no recollection of what his dreams were about, but he wakes up feeling warm and ready to take on the day.

XxX

"Let's play house," his little brother suggests one night.

He doesn't normally get to play house with Kaoru, but tonight his sister is at soccer practice and he has free reign over every activity. Within reason, of course.

Tsubasa's brother is the younger of his two siblings, and while their sister was practically born with a cheeky grin and a pair of scraped knees, the youngest child of the Kashiwagi family is very much the opposite. He's gentle and kind and easily frightened, and Tsubasa is absolutely terrified that someone, somewhere is going to make fun of him for it.

That someone may not be Kaoru, but he still accepts Kaoru to suggest another game. Especially when he points at Tsubasa, then at Kaoru, and declares, "you two are the parents!"

"You expect me to marry another man?" Kaoru smirks.

"Noooo," the younger brother whines. "You're the _mom!_ "

Tsubasa immediately blanches.

His brother is too young to understand what he's saying – and it's not because Tsubasa or his parents have been avoiding the subject, it just hadn't come up yet. What makes matters worse is that he's seen the way Kaoru looks at other men, the way his gaze sometimes lingers when he thinks no one else is watching, now that he's apparently taken it upon himself to learn every little thing about one Kaoru Sakuraba. Which means Tsubasa is now fairly certain he would marry another man if he could, and he sends a silent prayer to whoever happens to be listening that his kid brother did not just accidentally offend someone he really doesn't want to be offended.

"And why am I the mom?" Kaoru challenged, although he doesn't appear to be offended yet. Maybe Tsubasa's desperation was heard or maybe he'd gotten lucky or maybe Kaoru is genuinely not bothered by it.

He hopes it's the last thing. Because if Tsubasa's observations are correct, he would never want Kaoru to feel ostracized or ashamed simply for liking other men.

They go back and forth for a while, until, finally, Tsubasa's brother sighs and relents, "fine, you can both be dads", and Kaoru has just saved him the trouble of explaining what homosexuality is, in rudimentary terms, to his six year old brother, somehow.

Still smirking, Kaoru pushes up his glasses triumphantly and says, "Well, I suppose there are worse people to be married to than Tsubasa. He gave me a book of love poems once, after all."

A fire ignites just under Tsubasa's skin, and he snaps back, without meaning to, "Not all of them were romantic!"

It's very uncharacteristic of him, and perhaps the opposite of what he's been trying to accomplish lately. Kaoru and his brother laugh, and both Kaoru and Tsubasa make for very stiff and unaffectionate fathers when they're this self-conscious.

XxX

He's not himself whenever Kaoru is around, recently. He realizes it later that night and makes an impromptu phone call to apologize. It's time to stop being a coward. Tsubasa normally runs from everything, but he won't run from this.

Kaoru answers on the third ring, his voice thick with sleep and irritation over having been woken up at midnight for this, and he growls at Tsubasa to not worry about the love poems, because he already knew Tsubasa hadn't meant anything by it. This is followed by, in much more typical Kaoru fashion, with "go to sleep already, we have practice with Teru tomorrow".

But the thing is – Tsubasa hadn't uttered a single word by the time Kaoru hung up. Kaoru plucked every thought out of his head by himself.

XxX

He refrained from writing a text afterwards, somehow, but suddenly time is in limbo. It goes too quickly or not fast enough, but never at the speed Tsubasa wants.

For example, the bus ride to practice takes at least three hours (it's actually around thirty minutes), and the glance he receives from Kaoru at the start is fleeting (it's actually about sixty seconds, but Kaoru, much like Tsubasa, has no idea what to say). There's a part of Tsubasa that's scolding himself, that even if Kaoru is into guys, he wouldn't be into Tsubasa.

And he'd never meant to fall in love in the first place. At the beginning, it had been just a book of poems – a collection that he'd particularly liked, that he'd wanted to give a copy of because he thought Kaoru might like it too.

"I'm going outside," Teru mutters, running a hand through his hair after Kaoru and Tsubasa botch another routine for at least the tenth time. "Maybe having one less person in the room will help _clear the air_."

Teru's as close to mad as he's ever gotten with them before, and his instructions are clear.

Their trainer also gets the message, and excuses herself next. "Back in five minutes," she says softly, as the door clicks shut behind her.

Still, it takes a while before the only two people left manage to do anything other than stand awkwardly in the same room and avoid looking at one another. The awkwardness is, Tsubasa starts to realize, mostly on his part – Kaoru's expression is as guarded as always, because he's not admitting to _anything_.

"I'm making teriyaki salmon for dinner tonight," Tsubasa says. "If you're coming over, please let me know in advance and I'll prepare some for you also."

"I already have plans, sorry," Kaoru replies. It's a very curt response, but before Tsubasa has time to feel too disappointed, he adds, "How about next Monday? I'm sure there will be another toy in need of mending by then."

Tsubasa nods. "Thank you. I know you probably have more important things to do."

"There's nothing more important than family."

"Are we family now?" Tsubasa replies, asking the question on his mind.

" _We cannot live,_ " comes the answer, " _except thus mutually._ "

And it takes Tsubasa a few moments to understand what is happening, but when he does his expression melts into one of unconcealed joy. "How did you like that book?"

"I appreciated the gift."

Tsubasa, somehow, pays no mind to the somewhat elusive answer. The line comes from a love poem. Maybe that's what has him excited.

"Did you read the whole thing?" he continues.

"Of course. Although, to be honest, I'm more surprised _you_ have – " Kaoru cuts himself off, like he's surprised with himself for changing the tone of the conversation, and fiddles with the collar of his sweatshirt, and coughs. "We could be a family," he mutters, finally giving an answer to Tsubasa's question.

Tsubasa how Kaoru turns away and pushes up his glasses, lthe way his hands immdediately look for something else to do. Everything about Kaoru has this drive for efficiency, for productivity, and it probably runs his entire life.

Meaning he can never sit still when there's something weighing on his mind.

That should probably make him a bad match for Tsubasa, who's always so laidback but hesitant, but for some reason it doesn't feel that way.

"Forgive me," Tsubasa replies, because Kaoru is being equally polite by ignoring the way his face gets warmer, "if I'm reading the situation wrong. I'm a little tired..."

"We'll discuss it on Monday," Kaoru decides.  
It's probably for the best, as they won't be the only people left in the room for much longer, and – oh geez, Tsubasa can't even imagine what kinds of jokes Teru would make if he walked back in on something as sappy as spilling his guts to Kaoru. He'd be approving, sure, but it would be dad jokes for the next year.  
Waiting until Monday gives him plenty of time to avoid this fate.

(On Monday, he confesses everything anyway, and enduring a year's worth of dad jokes turns out to be more than worth it.)


End file.
